How to stop worrying about religion and atheism?

Well, I'm kinda in between from believing in a God and being Atheist. The main reason i'm not an Atheist is because of the beginning. I may have said this tons of times but this drives me literally crazy. Everything has a beginning. How did everything start? Is there a being that is beyond existence? Sure people say they know how the planets and such were made, but what made that? Is Nothingness a state of being? Or is Nothingness also created by something? Plus, if there was Nothingness in the beginning, there had to have been laws (like gravity) for everything to collide and be created. So what can I do to just keep myself thinking I'm agnostic and not to worry about this anymore? I'm tired of thinking life is pointless. I do things in my life that would normally make me happy but I am not because my life feels literally empty. I laugh, I smile, and I sincerely mean it. But everything I see just pes by. It doesn't stay in my head, and I only feel semi-conscious all the time.